Politics and Chilean food

Corbett | January 28, 2003 11:41 AM

What would normally have been a simple pleasant dinner with our friend Doug, turned into a neighborhood showdown with the evil neighbor from hell. We were all enjoying a decent bottle of spicy Chilean wine at one of Taipei's more interesting little restaurants, Salsa Bistro, chatting with the owner, Ally, when we hear this horrible 6000rpm engine drone from outside and suddenly all this exhaust fume starts pouring into the restaurant. Since we're sitting by the door we go out to see what's happening. Some idiot, who turns out is the "neighborhood chief" -- an archaic political position 2 levels under city council person and is pretty much a legal excuse for harassing neighbors and getting payola for it -- had backed his van up to the front door and was sitting in his pajamas jamming on the gas petal. For 10 minutes this continued. We knocked on his window asking him what the hell he thought he was doing, but he just ignored us, until Irene finally stood in front of his car and asked him to stop, since the fumes were bothering children in the restaurant. He then got irate, and started to drive over Irene, who was knocked over onto the pavement. Then the restaurant called the police. The police station was right around the corner, so we all ended up filling out reports Taiwanese style, meaning that the police treated us like crap. It became obvious after a few minutes that the fume idiot was pretty good friends with the cops, buddy buddy, patting each other on the back. The station chief even came down to see what the fuss was about. "I was just warming up my car when this woman (Irene) tries to push my car and break off my windshield wipers..." was what fume idiot told him, "Help me out here." Irene told the guy, "Remember, God is listening to you," which we all thought was pretty funny. I then had to take Irene to the hospital for x-rays to make the report official, and we spent the next two hours doing the emergency room boogie eventually getting back to the station early AM to fill out some more papers.

The restaurant owner explained to the police that fume idiot has been tormenting her daily for the past 2 years trying to get her to give up her lease so that he can move in and expand his cram school business. This apparently was one of his latest tactics. The amazing thing is that no one seemed to be bothered by the fact that he tried to drive over Irene. All that was forgotten. Ally now has some hotshot anti-corruption lawyer who will be pressuring the police with an internal investigation. Hopefully the fume idiot will lose his political position, the cops will be nicer to victims, and we can all once again enjoy our red wine in peace without getting run over.

Category: Mr. Asia

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