The Steely Dan CD

Corbett | June 29, 2003 3:37 PM

I heard that there was a new Steely Dan CD out, so Irene and I stopped by a nice little Marin County record store to pick it up. I picked up a copy from the new arrivals rack, and went over to the cashier to pay. A cute girl in a flower dress behind the counter asked me if I wanted the special edition package, and showed me a nice recycled paper gift wrapped box set with a wax heart on the outside. I thought that would be different for a change so I told her ok, and waited while she folded out a little paper box, then lit a candle, and dripped hot wax over it to create a little drawing on the outside. "Wow, you guys are pretty crafty," I told her as she finished up the final touches.
"Yes, we believe in store participation to help a record sell," she smiled back.
"That's a great idea," I said taking the CD-in-recycled-paper-box-with-wax-drippings. "How much in all?"
"That'll be $900."
"Uh, what? $900?"
"Yes, it's the special edition package."
"$900? You have to out of your mind!"
"Excuse me sir?" she looked like I had just slapped her.
Then Irene whispered into my ear, "Honey, if you want it, just hurry up and buy it. People are waiting."
"But Jesus Christ, it's $900!" I explained.
"So only buy one," she said, not getting the point.
I looked back at the counter girl, then at her associates who were now all giving me the evil bad-customer-from-hell eye.
The seconds passed.
"No way! This is some bizarre scam. I'm not buying into this. This is wrong!"
"But the profits go to help Steely Dan," the girl said, her face reddening. She couldn't understand what was wrong. "Piracy is a tremendous issue these days. How can artists survive without a profit? Besides, I've already boxed it for you. You have to buy it."
"You're insane. There's no way I'm paying $900 for a CD in recycled paper with wax drippings. Forget it!"
Then a tough looking gay guy in a black turtle neck with sideburns and Elvis Costello glasses next to her says, "Man, you better just buy this CD now. She put all that hard work into the custom work. Don't fuck with us."
I looked around at all the grumpy people lined up behind me, each holding their $900 CDs in their hands.
This was wrong. All wrong.
Then I woke up.

Category: Dreams