Fun things to do when bored in Taiwan

Corbett | September 11, 2003 2:02 PM

I thought this was pretty cute. A girl from SF spent 9 months in Taiwan on a Fulbright ride, and put together some thoughts and ruminations about life as a 20 something in Taipei. You can check out her site.

1. Go through your food and play "How many things can we find that look like hairy bugs?"

2. Point to every item on the menu at a restaurant and ask the waitress what it is. When finished, ask her if they have an English menu.

3. Ask to try every flavor at the Haagen-Dazs. If they look reluctant, point to the sign that says, "We welcome you try every flavor?"

4. Make a collection of all 1NT pennies. Take it with you the next time you bargain for something in a store. Ask if they take credit cards. When they say no, pay with all pennies.

5. Walk back and forth past the Chung Hsiao Ta-An corner where the students bug pedestrians to fill out their surveys. Accept each one and write random English answers for all the questions, like, "I can't read Chinese so stop telling me to fill out your f*$#ing survey!!?" Do this enough times until they all recognize you.

6. Make up new shit every time you are asked, "Where are you from??" Insist you are from Taiwan but lived in a hole with no human contact most your life. Or that you come from the remote island (X), then go into great detail describing island (X), especially the cannibalism. Or that you are an actor playing a HuaCiao so you need to practice talking with this funny accent.

7. If you are white: pretend you don't know any English. Every time someone smiles and says "Hallo, how ah you??" shake your head and say, "Ting bu dong, shemme shi hallo??"

8. Go to the night market and ask straight-faced if the LV bags are real.

9. Teach ebonics to your English students.

10. Yell, "Taiwan independence!!" at a KMT rally.

11. Order a cup of ZhenZhou (only pearls, no milk tea) and use the straw to shoot them at passersby.

12. Order a big bowl of plain shaved ice (no fruit or syrup) and make snow sculptures at your table.

13. Stand on top of a building for awhile pretending you'll jump off, then watch yourself on that night's news.

Category: Mr. Asia

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