Big Wedding

Corbett | October 11, 2003 1:59 PM

Last night the son of the Fitel mobile group got married. His mom wanted me to play some songs as a duo with her sister at the wedding. I had no idea what to expect. But it turns out that Auntie is young, plays good piano, and knows a lot of tunes. So we worked out a quick pick up set of wedding standards and hit the stage. She couldn't hear me, and I couldn't hear her, but the 1000+ guests could hear us both just fine. I didn't want to stay around for the schmoozing because I had to get right back to the Living Room to see if the sound check was working out for the jazz group that night, Yi-Ru Wang Quartet.

I have mixed feelings on the whole complex Chinese social relationship thing, because I like making friends who are friends for some reason other than business advantage. Maybe because they are funny, or play tennis, or like jazz, or are on immediate call for a couple of beers, whatever. But the whole business relationship thing to me is like playing Pass The Trash with guanxi. Some people are really good card players, even if they can't pay the pot. They bluff, they maneuver, they can trade a Two of Clubs for a Jack, then wait around for another Jack, then collect a full house. Me, I'm usually surrounded by Aces, Kings, and Queens, but I spend most of my time fooling around in the kitchen getting beers or pretzels rather then sitting at the table. I like the close one on one face to face, actually care about someone, guanxi. But that can rarely get reciprocated, because most people are so busy keeping their decks stacked and chips counted, they just don't have the energy or time in the end to really care too much. So I find a lot of Chinese people are inherently very lonely, and find solace with their family, not so much friends. Then what happens is that familes start doing things with other familes, so you start getting family poker clubs popping up, and I'm back in the kitchen munching pretzels and drinking beer and playing with the kids or something. I think most foreigners don't really get the guanxi thing even though they have read the books, seen it in action, and have been limited by a lack of it. It's just different. And so necessary.

Category: Ramble