Lacoste ghost money

Corbett | October 16, 2003 3:04 PM

I was sitting at the dealership this afternoon waiting for them to finish up a routine oil change when I looked out the window and saw this unusual designer brand of Chinese ghost money being burnt. They had this big twelve foot tall money burning furnace out in front of the Chrysler shop, and these ladies were busy dumping bags and bags of Lacoste ghost money into it. Later on, a well dressed priest guy in white patent leather shoes and a nice white chung-zhuang top came out and said a few prayers while all this stuff went up in smoke.

I finished my free maintenance, and was then given a bill for $750. This turned into the standard procedure Taiwanese push and pull of doing a monetary transaction with penny and dimers. I also realized my Chinese is improving.

"What's this for?" I asked, "Isn't it supposed to be free like it says here in this little maintenance booklet you gave me when I bought the car?"
"Yes, it is free, but you have to pay the difference."
"The difference for what?"
"The difference for the super high octane extra silicon slippery oil we put in for you."
"But I never told you to add any extra slippery oil. I gave you my maintenance book and told you to give me the standard free check-up."
"But that's the standard non-slippery, non-high octane, non-silicon oil!"
"So?!"
"But other customers expect us to give them only the best oil."
"Oh c'mon! Don't give me the "other" customer BS. I'm a customer standing right here in front of you telling you that I never told you to add any extra slippery more expensive oil, and you never asked me if I wanted you to add it. You added a cost without me knowing, and now expect me to pay. Is that fair? How would you like it if you came to my restaurant and ordered the set beef menu which says $350, and then I give you the check for $750 after you ate. And when you asked me why it now cost $750, I tell you because I gave you the extra tender, low cholesterol, high protein beef, and now you have to pay the difference. Would you like that? No. You would feel that you ordered the set menu, and expected to pay $350, and now why were you suddenly paying more for no reason you could control. Would you just say, "Oh, really? Here's $750." Impossible."
"But it's only $750."
"It not the amount! I don't care about $750. The point is, how can you possibly expect your customer to agree to pay for something he had no idea of, and did not ask you to do? Did I tell you to add the extra slippery oil? Did anyone hear me say "I want extra slippery more expensive oil, not the standard what should come with the maintenance book oil." Did you ask me, "Sir, we have some super special extra slippery oil which will only cost you $750 more, would you care for that instead?"
"You should have told us that you didn't want us to add the extra slippery oil then."
"And how was I possibly supposed to know that?"
"Because it's marked here on your order."
"And did I tell you to mark that?"
"Well, we figured this is what you wanted."
"OK. Why don't you tell me exactly the way I should talk to you the next time I come in. Should I say, "Hi. I'm here for the standard maintenance which means that you can't try to do anything more which will cost me more money than it says I should pay without first confirming with me in advance all the possible things which you may or may not add without my prior knowledge which will cost more than I actually anticipated." Will that make it clear?"
"Well, since you put it that way, I guess it's OK if you don't pay then."
"Thanks. See you next time."

Category: Mr. Asia