Still searching for the perfect massage

Corbett | July 21, 2004 1:53 AM

This search for the perfect massage leads you down strange paths. No, not down dimly lit corridors above some KTV/restaurant/foot massage place on Lin Sen N. Rd., but into alternative ways to loosen up your back.

Without getting too esoteric, I will explain it in eight sentences:

1) An elfish young woman dressed in a linen tunic asked me to pick three scented oils from a box, then choose one by the most alluring scent, of which I chose Meloncholy.

2) I was then taken to a very very nice room with a private spa, bathroom, and an amazing view of the water, not to mention the cool blue stereo system playing music that sounded like a bunch of sea birds who could play piano while flying through the arctic tundra on their way to meet Mr. Endangered Seal.

3) My feet were then taken care of in a Jesus like fashion, and I decided on the spot that if Ms. Elfin could help me put on and take off my shoes every day I would be in heaven.

4) While I lie like a dead fish on the massage table, I hear the distant faint moving hum of frequencies from a gong, no it's the stereo, no it's Ms. Elfin dancing around the room playing a Tibetan bowl.

5) The bowl frequencies gets closer and closer to my head, eventually sort of hypnotizing me, because 20 seconds ago I'm wondering why I'm lying on my belly on a bed in a room with an elf girl playing bowls, and how much will this hippie crap cost, and now I'm suddenly feeling pretty relaxed and goofy.

6) Then the bowls are placed on my lower back and in between my shoulders, and "played" for a while, resonating through my spine.

7) After the bowl treatment, comes the multi-handed Shiva rub down where elf girl runs around in circles while rubbing down my back with Meloncholy, and I'm convinced there are now four people in the room, not two.

8) After being rubbed into a mush, I slip into the spa (no not with the elf girl) for a while and sip some herbal tea, and listen to the piano birds, and feel very very relaxed, and tell myself repeatedly (before I have to eventually get out of the hot water and pay the bill) that in order to find the perfect massage you must try out new things.

---

Category: Mr. Asia

---