I fought the hotpot and the hotpot won -

I fought the hotpot and the hotpot won

Corbett | March 2, 2005 1:07 AM

It's that time of year again. It gets a bit cold and people start craving Ma La Huo Guo. So Irene goes to Wu Ji, one of the more popular ma la joints in town and orders takeout, so we can share with the staff. It wasn't really that spicy for me, but then again I was cutting it with a lot of vinegar and sesame oil, plus some suan mei juice to protect the aging stomach.

After years of eating the boil-your-innards-ma-la, you pick up some techniques to help you deal with the flame-throwing-butt-effect the next day.

Unfortunately, none of my precautionary remedies helped me deal with the burning nuclear reactor in my belly the next day when I woke up. In this case the ma la runs were just a minor inconvenience compared to how horrible my gut felt. The reaction continued to grow in my stomach until I eventually passed out on the sofa at work, dizzy from exhaustion, and weak from the lack of food and dehydration. Then it started getting bad. I kept thinking to myself, "Man this is worse than the time I ate macaroni at Swensen's and got that weird distended belly and felt like Alien was going to pop out of my innards."

Eventually one of my staff went out and bought some digestion pills for me. I took a couple packs and immediately got worse. Pretty soon I was having wild delirious waking sort of fever dreams while comatose on the sofa. Then the shivers came. Oh man. Worse than the worst 2 bottle Tequila hangover. Then the weird flu symtoms appeared. I felt like Scrooge, when the ghosts kept coming out to haunt him. Everytime my stomach erupted inside, my knees and back would ache like I got hit by a truck. Then I would do a little shake, utter something feable like "Ugh ugh uhhhh," and pass out again.

This little drama played out for 8 hours: wake, shiver, head pounding, can barely see, run to bathroom, run back, drink some water, shiver shiver, utter something incomprehensible, rub the aching joints, try to talk to belly with hands, then pass out again.

Eventually I woke up sweat drenched in a back room at my office wearing my winter jacket, under two layers of blankets, wondering what the hell happened to me.

Simple: The ma la kicked my ass this time.

Category: Mr. Asia

Comments (3)

Comments

cyn

March 3, 2005 10:56 AM

you still made a pregnant
woman hungry. =)

hope you feel better now. crikey.

Zhang Liping

March 9, 2005 3:23 PM

http://sevencastles.blogchina.com
A Shanghai blog featuring news and views of great interest

Troll

April 9, 2005 6:24 AM

Funny shit. Do u have anything for "How To Date a White Woman for the Modern Mexican Man..."

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