Band dude

Corbett | January 19, 2006 4:48 AM

The other evening, I encountered a situation that only allowed me to ask "WTF??"

A band member from a to-be-unnamed band comes up to me and tells me how rude it was to have asked his girlfriend to pay the $150 ticket that night to support the three bands playing the show. "Her name was on the guest list, and she already supports us a lot, man. She even bought a train ticket to come see us, and I can't believe you would ask her to pay to see the bands as well. You are so rude, dude, blah blah blah..."

Then I tell him, "Well, sorry I insulted your girlfriend over $150. I didn't insist she pay it. I just asked her to show her support. For your information, that is money I was trying to collect for YOU GUYS, since our policy is to give 100% of the door to the bands. There are so few people tonight, and you have to split it three ways, so I thought I'd ask everyone (even girlfriends) to support you guys by purchasing a ticket anyways."

This then turns into a 20 minute showdown at the cash register.

Band dude: "I just can't believe you would do that. What makes you think you can do that? Blah, blah..."

Me: "Dude, that money goes into your pocket, not mine. I don't benefit at all from asking. Why don't you ask someone to stand here all night collecting the tickets for you. Then you can let them all in without paying. I'm just trying to support you. I think you should ask people to support live music, not always expect it to be free."

Band dude: "That is so rude. Totally uncalled for. Completely out of line. And I can't believe you make our audience buy two beers as well. Beers are super expensive here. We can buy them at 7-11 for NT$50."

Me: "Hey, you are always welcome to go perform in front of the 7-11. There's one across the street. Go ask them to set up a stage for you. But if you want to perform here, on a weekend, on our stage, using our equipment, enjoying our air conditioning, enjoying our free band drinks, with a nice place to sit and hang out, with sofas and a clean toilet, then we have to ask people to buy at least two drinks, or we can't stay open. What's so terrible about that? We charge about the same as anywhere in town, even less. So I don't understand your problem."

Band dude: "Blah blah blah..."

By now I'm starting to lose my patience, so I just smile and keep my mouth shut.

Band dude: "Blah blah blah... and fuck you!"

Now I'm thinking why do I have to deal with this crap. Why do I even try to support bands like you? Why should I build tube amps for you to play through? Why should I worry about affording Zildjian cymbals? Why should I keep this place open? Why am I standing here listening to you?

So I grab him by the neck and slam his head hard against the cash register three times breaking his glasses and his nose as well. Then I throw him through the glass door onto the street. I grab his piece of shit guitar, walk through the door, and whack him with it until the neck breaks, and toss the whole mess with all the strings dangling out on the sidewalk.

"How's that for rude?" I ask the band dude.

Well, not exactly. But that's what I was thinking.

Category: Music

Comments (5)

Comments

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Christofu

January 21, 2006 5:27 AM

CW, I hope you at least gave him a good smack in the bisquits.

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Soul Daddy

January 21, 2006 2:43 PM

How about a complimentary shot of pepper spray for the rock 'n' roll wannabe?

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sunny

January 24, 2006 7:49 PM

now, why didn't you do so? sigh. i would've gone ahead and beat him to within an inch of his life. next time, you see him, do so. LOL.

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Pbrain

April 8, 2006 10:46 AM

Was this you?... was this the band?

http://sky-burial.com/keef_chop.mpg

Face it dude you're a charity, act like one!

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corbett

April 9, 2006 11:47 AM

Will you please make a donation to the RUM Club (Rude Unappreciative Musicians Club). It's tax deductable.

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