Crybaby craft
Crybaby craft
I was in a small studio the other day recording some tracks for a friend's New Age album. He plays electric guitar and guzheng (¥jºå) at the same time. Anyway, this got me thinking about what it is musically that excites me these days. People are always asking me why I stopped playing professionally, and I'm running out of things to say. All I can muster, is "I just couldn't do it anymore."
Like this morning, I woke up to an album my wife put on of a 15 year old pianist named Austin Peralta. Peralta is signed to my friend's jazz label at Sony, and is backed by Ron Carter and Billy Kilson. You can't get a much better platform to start your career. Sony, Ron Carter, 15. Yet, beyond the chops, I couldn't feel anything he was playing. He wasn't saying anything meaningful to me, and I woke up grumpy, discombobulated, and thinking about what I would say if I was still making music. Would I be saying anything meaningful?
I think it's this - Once you've been through the entire process, the entire value chain of the music industry, you realize that the energy and time and passion you pour out to create and perform music and develop your music career is about as important to Mr. Average Joe Blow consumer who picks up a copy of your CD as is the type of aluminum used in the machine which produced the soap he showered with today, or the cans per minute the dog food canning processor machine can squirt out his dog's food ration, or the time it took a team to design the injection mold used to form the casing on his ergonomic cellphone.
I think as a musician, more so than playing music, you want to matter to someone. You want people to understand your pain, you want people to delve into your art, appreciate your years of effort, respect your talent. So music is actually a very selfish crybaby craft.
I find it refreshing to see people who are wrapped up in their music. The engineer who tracked the session was so proud to have been in Japan with Jay Chou, and in HK with Richie Ren. He had his MI (Musician's Institute) sticker proudly displayed on his mixing console, with stacks of Sound Recording magazine next to the sofa. It seemed all so distant to me.
But it got me thinking again, and maybe thinking about music will get me motivated, and maybe the motivation will lead to something else. As long as it says something to someone.
Comments (5 posted)
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hi corbett,
regarding your latest entry,
i think music is one of the most
powerful ways to connect with
another person. of course, as the
artist, you can't really see that firsthand
except for at concerts.
with anything we create, whether
it be writing, art, sculpture or music,
it is a very personal endeavor.
we are revealing a little of our
insides to others, strangers even.
i picked up your first album
in 1989 during a summer camp
in taipei. and i had my cousin
send two more from
taiwan, the last being
love you for one week.
you definitely brought me emotionally
to other places with your music.
if the muse ever hits you again,
just write for yourself at first, don't
play for an audience just yet.
maybe that'll be a start?
anyway, just wanted to say thanks
for putting your music out there! 8)
cyn
Austin Peralta's gift should not be marginalized just because he's 15 and hasn't experienced great angst (yet).
What were you doing at 15?
His playing is to be celebrated and encouraged. His joy in playing is manifest when seen in person.
No, I'm not marginalizing his talent. That would be trite. I think you're over reading my statement, which is about my own selfish introspective frustration, not a criticism of Peralta's playing.
The reason I woke up grumpy, after listening to Peralta, was that here was a killer player, with perfect support, starting off on the right foot, and as a passive audience member all I can say is "I just don't feel it." So in one off hand morning listening, I have discounted all his talent and effort, once again proving my theory "that the energy and time and passion you pour out to create and perform music and develop your music career is about as important to Mr. Average Joe Blow consumer who picks up a copy of your CD as is the type of aluminum used in the machine which produced the soap he showered with today..."
I woke up asking myself if Peralta wasn't moving me, would I even be able to make music that moved myself. I'm asking "How do you get your audience to feel this? What is it that connects?"
I quit the industry because it no longer allowed me to think what I was really connecting with anyone, that no one cared what I played, as long as I showed up to the concert on time in a suit and smiled. So I stopped caring, and when I stopped caring, I stopped feeling, and when I stopped feeling I couldn't make music anymore.
So this is so not about Peralta, who I'd love to see play someday, but about trying to find something lost along my own road.
To answer your question: When I was 15 I was living on my own, looking after my 90 yr old grandfather, working several odd jobs to pay my rent, playing 3rd base or wide receiver, performing in 3 or 4 different bands, worrying about getting laid someday, and dreaming about one day playing with as much emotion as Art Pepper, with the soul of Hank Crawford, a rhythm section like Sanborn's, on tunes as pretty as Pat Metheny's.
Thanks for the clarification. On second read I see what you are saying. Thanks for the self disclosure and sharing where you were at 15.
I happen to know Austin and think highly of him and his craft. So I apologize if I was overreaching in my comments in defense of a bright new talent.
I asked Austin recently about "connecting with his audience." I thought his answer was profound. He laughed and said "what audience?" He says "fuck that -- all I care about is making music for myself"....
Maybe somewhere within Austin's response is the answer you are looking for. Just be true to YOU. Be an artist. Fuck everyone else and any expectation of their appreciation or love. That can only come from family, lovers and great friends.
Be well.
Its mainly the same reason I haven't bought a CD in ages.
Milk-fed veal is the same deal. There's not enough 'jam' going on to CD's today - you know, ripping, goose-bump one-off solo's and shit....
Those tangents evolve sound nitches and styles of playing, that inspire anyone who listens and to musicians that play'em.
Let's not take persons into this comment it's generalised. And I've never heard of Peralta. I think as you get older and somewhat qunatize your musical inspirations, it gets narrower, as the youth that produce much of todays CDWARE haven't yet matured - and they're constantly being replaced.
Pbrain
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I've never figured out whether it's pronounced "Moe's (like owned by one of three stooges) or Moss (like that guy out of Bonanza), but the one down the hill from me is open until 2am most days, which means that if I get out of the club early enough, I can catch the best burger in town, the muo si la bao or the Spicy Mos Burger. They have lots of jalapenos and 
