74 mph backwards

Corbett | January 11, 2007 12:27 PM

I woke up all pissed off because I got a ticket in my sleep.

I was driving a mini van filled with friends into a big parking lot with a malfunctioning traffic light in the middle. It was apparent we'd be stuck forever, so I put the van in reverse, and was backing out of the parking lot back to the street. Suddenly a cop car pulls in behind me, and I slam on the brakes, just missing it by an inch. I hop out of the van yelling, "Hey! What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here."

The cop, a pretty blonde with short hair, hands me a radar print out. "My gun says you were travelling 74mph."

"Yeah right, in reverse in a parking lot. Your gun is wrong."

I take the print out from her hand and examine it like a Chinese person looking at a food bill. It's all in Chinese. "So where's the license number? How do I know this is even my car?"

"I saw you. The gun never lies. That was some fancy driving."

"Oh come on. You must be kidding. How could I possibly go 74mph backwards in this van? I've travelled less than 100 meters. You're telling me that this mini van is faster than a Porsche off the line, in reverse, filled with people, in a parking lot?"

"74 mph."

I then go into the physics of the impossibility of getting this van moving that fast in 100 meters. She is not interested at all. She writes out the rest of the ticket and hands it to me.

My first dream ticket.

Category: Dreams

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