Posts from October 2003
October 30, 2003
I want I want I want
October 29, 2003
How kids feel about the games we played
This article is pretty funny, and makes me feel unbelievably old. Electronic Gaming Monthly got a bunch of kids in a room and forced them to play the same games we played when we were kids. Their comments and reactions are hilarious.
Reading it, I suddenly remembered when my mom sent me Pong as a Christmas present from Japan. I was like nine, and the most popular kid on the block. Friends would gather in my living room, staring for hours at the little blips floating across on the screen.
Then in junior high there was Space Invaders, and we got our ten minute fix while our parents were shopping in the grocery store.
Then there was high school and Donkey Kong was king. My friends and I would pour roll after roll of quarters into that damned machine, sucking us dry, level by level, surviving on Doritos and Mountain Dew.
Now I don't have time for games, except the kind done across a negotiation table. That's very sad. Because you can't smash a VC over the head with a giant hammer, or watch him get burned by a blue flame, or blow him up with a laser blast. Now there would be a good game...
October 26, 2003
I'll trade you my three hos for your crackhouse...
October 25, 2003
I can speak French
My friend JP just sent me proof that I can speak French!
Hi Corbett,
I just read in "Taiwan Aujourd'hui" the article about Saxophone manufacturing in Houli, quoting you in French: "Houli parvient neanmoins a produire quelques instruments de qualite excellente...., remarque le celebre saxophoniste Corbett Wall."
JP
Who is E. Lynn Schoenmann?
Sometimes you get a piece of mail that just makes no sense. Today a piece of mail from a SF bankruptcy lawyer reached my desk. I couldn't figure out who E. Lynn Schoenmann was, and why would anyone have any records to send to me, and why this person was going bankrupt. Was this some long lost relative, and I was entitled to some long lost fortune? Finally my curiousity got the best of me, and I called up Some Law Firm & Sons, a Professional Corporation to ask just who in the hell was E. Lynn Schoenmann.
"Good morning. Some Law Firm & Sons."
"Hello. I've got this notice of bankruptcy from you which I just don't understand. Who is E. Lynn Schoenmann?"
"Did you have any business with this person before?"
"I don't know who this person is."
"Did you ever do business with the law firm Skjerven Morrill MacPherson LLP?"
"You mean the huge SF firm, with zillions of lawyers, and the awesome office overlooking the Bay?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, I used to retain them for some stuff."
"Well they are out of business now. They're bankrupt."
"You're kidding!? The economy is that bad in San Francisco now?"
"Well that's all relative. It's not bad for us at all. We're handling their bankruptcy matters."
Silence.
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"Um, yeah, I was just thinking how I must be doing something right, because I'm still in business, and they're not. That's pretty cool."
October 22, 2003
Need sleep
Need sleep so badly. Still, even when I go to the hot springs at midnight, collapse like a mummy into bed at 1:47am, I'm stressing out and awake at 6:10am. Legal contracts, poster designs, fliers for the Living Room, return emails, DJ bookings, calls to China, investment meetings, rent, salaries, product descriptions, black box sales, distribution, deadlines, crappy IBM servers,
Raid 0, Raid 5, Apache config files, PubCharset=big5, music copyrights, master tapes, promotion schedules, follow up, follow up, IP rights, carrier contracts, publishers, content services, ISP licenses, and on and on and on...
Time for a break. Time to see Kill Bill.
I used to write poems. Here's a haiku. They need to be 17 syllables, or so they say, to be true to classical form.
I
A slight rumble passes
imperceptible
a trash truck? an alarm clock?
and another....
II
inside the coffee bean
lies solace from things unseen
Starbucks again?
and yet another from Ted Nugent, the haiku master...
III
hey hey, when in doubt
i whip it out
i got me a rock and roll band
and oh my god not another....
IV
simple things in life are free
not my conscience
at dawn it still haunts me
and finally please stop another...
V
worry worry
you always worry
stop being in such a hurry
Today I will accomplish three acts of great importance
1) I will tell my wife how much I love her
2) I will wrestle with my dog
3) I will water the plants
The rest can go to hell.
October 16, 2003
Lacoste ghost money
I was sitting at the dealership this afternoon waiting for them to finish up a routine oil change when I looked out the window and saw this unusual designer brand of Chinese ghost money being burnt. They had this big twelve foot tall money burning furnace out in front of the Chrysler shop, and these ladies were busy dumping bags and bags of Lacoste ghost money into it. Later on, a well dressed priest guy in white patent leather shoes and a nice white chung-zhuang top came out and said a few prayers while all this stuff went up in smoke.
I finished my free maintenance, and was then given a bill for $750. This turned into the standard procedure Taiwanese push and pull of doing a monetary transaction with penny and dimers. I also realized my Chinese is improving.
"What's this for?" I asked, "Isn't it supposed to be free like it says here in this little maintenance booklet you gave me when I bought the car?"
"Yes, it is free, but you have to pay the difference."
"The difference for what?"
"The difference for the super high octane extra silicon slippery oil we put in for you."
"But I never told you to add any extra slippery oil. I gave you my maintenance book and told you to give me the standard free check-up."
"But that's the standard non-slippery, non-high octane, non-silicon oil!"
"So?!"
"But other customers expect us to give them only the best oil."
"Oh c'mon! Don't give me the "other" customer BS. I'm a customer standing right here in front of you telling you that I never told you to add any extra slippery more expensive oil, and you never asked me if I wanted you to add it. You added a cost without me knowing, and now expect me to pay. Is that fair? How would you like it if you came to my restaurant and ordered the set beef menu which says $350, and then I give you the check for $750 after you ate. And when you asked me why it now cost $750, I tell you because I gave you the extra tender, low cholesterol, high protein beef, and now you have to pay the difference. Would you like that? No. You would feel that you ordered the set menu, and expected to pay $350, and now why were you suddenly paying more for no reason you could control. Would you just say, "Oh, really? Here's $750." Impossible."
"But it's only $750."
"It not the amount! I don't care about $750. The point is, how can you possibly expect your customer to agree to pay for something he had no idea of, and did not ask you to do? Did I tell you to add the extra slippery oil? Did anyone hear me say "I want extra slippery more expensive oil, not the standard what should come with the maintenance book oil." Did you ask me, "Sir, we have some super special extra slippery oil which will only cost you $750 more, would you care for that instead?"
"You should have told us that you didn't want us to add the extra slippery oil then."
"And how was I possibly supposed to know that?"
"Because it's marked here on your order."
"And did I tell you to mark that?"
"Well, we figured this is what you wanted."
"OK. Why don't you tell me exactly the way I should talk to you the next time I come in. Should I say, "Hi. I'm here for the standard maintenance which means that you can't try to do anything more which will cost me more money than it says I should pay without first confirming with me in advance all the possible things which you may or may not add without my prior knowledge which will cost more than I actually anticipated." Will that make it clear?"
"Well, since you put it that way, I guess it's OK if you don't pay then."
"Thanks. See you next time."
October 15, 2003
Yoshi loves Benji
My friend Benji is a great guy. Unfortunately, his dog Yoshi thinks differently...
October 12, 2003
5am blues
Just closing up after a late night of NY House DJ mixing at the Living Room. We broke in our two new Denon turntables which was cool, and DJ Em and I made a mad last minute dash out for some cool Shure cartridges so they would actually work. Talk about some serious low tech. Two guys hunched over some little wires and tiny screws with mini screwdrivers trying to get the damned things lined up correctly.
Screwed my back again moving a drum kit. Stupid. Mortality is setting in. I used to do this 5am thing several nights a week. Now one or two just kill me. The drive home will be lit by an early am white haze, and littered with old people in underwear out on their bikes or taking walks. Irene and I'll discuss whether to stop for some hot do jiang and dan bing, and we'll skip because it's bad to eat so late, but will think about it all the way home. I'll ponder over how many hundreds of Taipei sunrises I've seen, each a little different, some dotted in rain, others pure tropical blue, some just smoggy and glazed. And I'll remember the sour smell of cigarettes and booze and perfume and sweat that watercolored my ex-jazz player life, and now is slowly seeping back again into my pallate as a club owner. Then I'll fall asleep with the TV on, and another day will pass, and some old memories will dissolve away while I sleep, and life in Taiwan will slowly start again when it becomes too hot to stay asleep, and then in that state of non-existence where drool has hardened and penis has softened, I'll open one eye and ask myself the same eternal question I've asked for over a decade, "What the fuck am I doing?"
October 11, 2003
Big Wedding
Last night the son of the Fitel mobile group got married. His mom wanted me to play some songs as a duo with her sister at the wedding. I had no idea what to expect. But it turns out that Auntie is young, plays good piano, and knows a lot of tunes. So we worked out a quick pick up set of wedding standards and hit the stage. She couldn't hear me, and I couldn't hear her, but the 1000+ guests could hear us both just fine. I didn't want to stay around for the schmoozing because I had to get right back to the Living Room to see if the sound check was working out for the jazz group that night, Yi-Ru Wang Quartet.
I have mixed feelings on the whole complex Chinese social relationship thing, because I like making friends who are friends for some reason other than business advantage. Maybe because they are funny, or play tennis, or like jazz, or are on immediate call for a couple of beers, whatever. But the whole business relationship thing to me is like playing Pass The Trash with guanxi. Some people are really good card players, even if they can't pay the pot. They bluff, they maneuver, they can trade a Two of Clubs for a Jack, then wait around for another Jack, then collect a full house. Me, I'm usually surrounded by Aces, Kings, and Queens, but I spend most of my time fooling around in the kitchen getting beers or pretzels rather then sitting at the table. I like the close one on one face to face, actually care about someone, guanxi. But that can rarely get reciprocated, because most people are so busy keeping their decks stacked and chips counted, they just don't have the energy or time in the end to really care too much. So I find a lot of Chinese people are inherently very lonely, and find solace with their family, not so much friends. Then what happens is that familes start doing things with other familes, so you start getting family poker clubs popping up, and I'm back in the kitchen munching pretzels and drinking beer and playing with the kids or something. I think most foreigners don't really get the guanxi thing even though they have read the books, seen it in action, and have been limited by a lack of it. It's just different. And so necessary.
October 02, 2003
Win XP security?
Problem: Today I got to the office and needed a login password for an XP box in order to get it back online without Nimda, SoBig, Blaster, and a bunch of other nasty viruses. But the techie responsible for the unit was out of the country, and couldn't be contacted.
Response: Time for a cup of coffee.
Result: I can't believe it only took about a half cup of coffee to compile a little Linux bootup floppy which modifies the encrypted passwords in the registry's SAM file, so that anyone can change the passwords and log on.
What kind of security is this? Makes you wonder...
I've never figured out whether it's pronounced "Moe's (like owned by one of three stooges) or Moss (like that guy out of Bonanza), but the one down the hill from me is open until 2am most days, which means that if I get out of the club early enough, I can catch the best burger in town, the muo si la bao or the Spicy Mos Burger. They have lots of jalapenos and 
